My 2018 New Year’s Resolution was to increase Mindfulness and I’d like to address mindfulness in the words we use, especially the ones in our own heads. This idea of self-talk is important. The words I tell myself absolutely impact my mood, my approach to life, and my well-being.
Many of us are guilty of using the word “should” frequently in our self-talk. It sounds like this…
- I should be thinner/more fit/more attractive
- I should spend more time with my kids/partner/family/friends
- I should work harder/ get that promotion/earn more money
- I should be more organized/keep up on housework/finish projects
Psychologist Albert Ellis coined the tongue-in-cheek term “musterbating” to describe this concept. Musterbating is not that helpful, it doesn’t actually get the things done, and it’s a general drain of emotional energy.
Mel Robbins is a motivational speaker and talks about The Five Second Rule, which is “If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it.” I love this. Rather than sitting around making mental lists of all the things we’re not doing well – take the first one and make any one step toward that goal. I find Mel’s words inspiring like a little motivational java hit. Check out more at: https://melrobbins.com/blog/five-elements-5-second-rule/
Start noticing that word should in your self-talk. Recognize when it’s not helpful to you. Find something different to focus on. Take a step toward the goal. You really should.