Tag: Gratitude

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School’s back in session which means I have a moment to write a post.  I love the feeling of back to school season.  The fresh start makes it a great time to set new intentions like connecting more as a family.  One of my favorite traditions at our house is to share our Rose-Thorn-Bud at dinner.  

This started years ago as sharing our Favorite thing (high) and Trouble (low) for the day.  When our son who was two he would say the exact same thing at every meal, “My favorite thing is I got to see all you guuuuys…and no trouble was.”  I can still hear that phrase in his toddler voice. 

Favorite Thing and Trouble has evolved over time to Rose-Thorn-Bud and I love that it stimulates conversation and gives us all a peek into each other’s day.  

It looks like this, with each person sharing:

  • Rose: something good that happened today
  • Thorn: something not so good that happened today
  • Bud: something you’re looking forward to 
  • Budthorn: (bonus 4th item my kids created to talk about something upcoming that induces dread i.e. vaccines, tests at school)

The only rule is that everyone has to have to have a rose.  A few times my kiddos have said it was a horrible day and there’s nothing good to share because it was a day of thorns only.  We remind them that those thorns are real.  It was a hard day.  We can experience those feelings and also find the tiniest piece of gratitude, even if it’s just that we have food to eat.  

Gratitude and connecting with others are helpful tools to improve our mental health.  If you’re looking to improve dinner time conversation, I hope you’ll give Rose-Thorn-Bud a try.

Mindfulness: My New Year’s Resolution

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It’s day 4 of the new year.  I had intended to post about this a few days ago, but illness has befallen my household.  Since New Year’s Eve it’s been like dominoes at my house with one family member after another falling with what appears to be influenza.  So resolution one is to actually get up from the couch (I’m the latest victim) and then sanitize every surface in this house.

But resolution two is to increase my daily practice of mindfulness.  Mindfulness may bring up mental images of Buddhist monks or hard-core yoga folks “omming” away in a lotus pose.  Those things are great, but more practical mindfulness is as simple as noticing your thoughts and feelings and being fully present in the moment.

Our increasingly harried lives are full of so many things drawing our attention away from being mindful.  Smart phones, full-time jobs, kids’ activities, family obligations…you get the idea.  I can relate to clients and friends who report feeling over-scheduled, busy, anxious, and stressed.  Increased mindfulness can help with those feelings and a variety of resolutions you might have made for this year.

For example:

  • Mindfulness in eating = stopping when you are full
  • Mindfulness in fitness = noticing your body’s need for movement and doing it
  • Mindfulness in parenting = less Dinosaur Mom
  • Mindfulness at work = increased focus on important tasks
  • Mindfulness in decision-making = giving a best yes (I’ll post about this later)
  • Mindfulness in relationships = being present and enjoying time together (a.k.a back away from the smart phone)

Great.  So how does one go about this?  Here are a few easy-to-do ways to begin:

  • Deep breathing.  I like 4-7-8 breathing: breathe in for 4, hold for 7, then out for 8.  It feels like a really long time to hold for a count of 7, but a couple of those sequences can be very calming.
  • Naming your feeling.  So you’re stressed about something at work and it’s coming out at home.  With mindfulness, get specific about the feeling behind the stress, such as disappointment a project did go well or feeling undervalued by a supervisor.
  • Recognize your self-talk.  We’ve all got a coach in our heads either building us up or tearing us down.  If your self-talk sounds like “I’m a loser.  How could I mess up like that!  I’ll never get past this.” etc., work on changing those thoughts into more positive ones like “I made a mistake.  Mistakes happen. I can work to make this better.”
  • Gratitude.  I love this one.  Be mindful of positive things in your life.  Take a time every day to focus on one aspect of your life for which you are grateful.

Here’s to a mindful 2018!